Random Parody
by PhantomsxAngelxofxMusic
Summary: Based on the movie. Just a spin off of the 2004 movie. Raoul Lovers: Beware. Randomess based on the randomess of my friend and I
1. Auctions

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, or any other characters or references used in this fanfiction._

_Note: There will most likely be some Raoul bashing. _

_The first chapter is kind of short, but this is my first fanfiction._

Scene One: Auctions 

_A younger man and a woman who's hat would be very useful if you ever had to abandon ship, escort an old man into an old Opera House. The inside of the Opera house is very dusty and some spiders are plotting an attack on the humans for invading their planet...I mean, home._

**Auctioneer: **Blah, blah, blah, blah blah… A few human skulls from a production when the dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Sure to scare the crap out of you friends, ladies and gentlemen. This one even still has its brain! Any takers?

Some freak bids 

**Auctioneer: **Thank you! (mutters) Thank you, God.

Next, We have a scary-butt monkey that watches you as you sleep and doubles as an alarm clock, weither you want it to or not. Any bids?

_A very old Madame Giry bids, and so does Ancient Raoul's 'lifesaver'. Raoul wins the bid, and hugs the creepy monkey of DOOM!_

Ancient Raoul: I looooove my monkey doll. (squeals) 

_Raoul starts to sing to himself. He needs help. Serious help. _

**Auctioneer:** (stares)Anyhow, Let's get on with our auctions of crap. I mean, of great historical importance. Yeah. A great big broken chandelier, we fixed it up with some gum. Cinnamon gum. Yum. Rumor has it, the Phantom of the Opera dropped this on peoples heads a few years back…

_Some dudes that seemed to pop out of nowhere show up and start raising the Cinnamon Gum Chandelier into the air. The main theme of the Movie starts up, and Madame Giry must spot one of them spiders, as she is staring up into the air. _

_**There. Please review. I realize it is VERY short. This is just my first attempt. I am off all summer and I'll try to update as often as I can.**_


	2. Rehearsals

_Disclaimer: I will never own The Phantom of the Opera._

I chose to stop being so stupidly lazy, and update. Thanks to all of my readers. Even if there are some that are hiding. pokes around

xo-miss-elizabeth-ox: blink

JediPhan: Yayness to you!

miss phantom28: Yes Sarah. This is me. Nahahha. It would have been funny if it wasn't, though.

Cadringiel: I LOVE your fanfiction. It is like the only modern Phantom fanfiction I really like, except for the weird random parodies.

Scene Two: Rehearsals

The Theme continues, showing two older farts and a bunch of dancers. A lot of them look funny. Tee Hee. Anyway, the old farts, Firmin and Andre, are lead threw the hallways filled with the funny people and into a big stage area thing.

Bald Conductor Dude: practically chokes himself Stop interrupting the damn play!

Old Manger: Aw, but Baldy, it's fun to annoy you like that.

Bald Conductor Man Person: …

Old Manger: Anyway… I will be moving to Australia, due to the annoying and spoiled La Carlotta. I will be sitting on the beach, drinking all day long while you suckers put up with the brat!

_Silence… Is that…crickets?_

Old Manger: walks off

Baldy: Back…To…Practice…

La Carlotta: sings loudly

_A backdrop falls, just happening to be overtop of Carlotta._

Backdrop: Wooohoooo

Shadows: snicker

La Carlotta: Blah-a Ah-a

People: Can't…understand…brains…exploding…pop….

Carlotta: farts

People whose brain didn't explode: die from toxic gasses escaping from Carlotta's butt

Wow….That sucked…Please, my dear readers, if you still live. REVIEW. I had a serious brain clog. Maybe it was my brain that exploded. The next scene should be better….I hope.


	3. Think of MeThe Mirror

_Disclaimer: I don't own POTO. So there._

I must promise to be less lazy. Sorry. hehe, I should update more and more. Maybe there'll be a few extra chapters this week. We'll see.

Cadringiel: Thanks, your so kind. I'm loving for fan fiction more and more as you go on. Update again.

miss phantom28: Sarah, how dare you call me mental. You are a poop. Aha... just kidding...

Phantoms' Lobo: Son? I'm your son? First off, I'm a girl, and I don't think I'm related to you. Or am I? Ahahah.. thanks! I really like hearing from people.

As you can see, I'm experimenting with different formats. The stars wouldn't work in the last chapter, so that's why some things don't make much sense.

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Scene Two: Think of Me/The mirror

Chubby new manger: We need someone to sing Carlotta's role! _whispers _I wish I could sing it.

Tall new manger: Erm... Any ideas, Madame Giry?

Chubs: I'd LOVE to sing the role of Carlotta! I won't let you down!

Tall Dude, Firmin: Err... Madame Giry?

Chubs: She can't sing!

Firmin: Zip it.

Madame Giry: _looks around the room and finds letter randomly_

_(a/n: I know it's late)_

Madame Giry: I CAN READ! WOO HOO! _coughs_ Mr. Opera Ghost says you have to give him loads of money and leave chocolates under the stage, because he feels the need to eat chocolate. and yeah. I have an idea! Christine Daae could sing the role! Totally my idea...not the phantoms...err mine...

Chubs: right... But a chorus chick?

Madame Giry: Yup. _drags Christine forward_. Sing.

Christine: _sings better then Carlotta and everyone seems to shut up the whole time. _

_We have now entered another time portal, the spiders chase us threw it so we are now watching the performance. Stupid spiders, they're so pushy._

Christine: _still singing_

Raoul: _in box _I WANT TOO SING! YAY! _claps hands together happily_ _then sings and leaves the box, to get his dolls, because he is bored. He loves Barbie. And Ken. Especially Ken._

Christine: _seemed to have stopped singing so Raoul could sing, but soon continues._

Audience: _claps hands to together._ ROCK ON! I mean... clap...

Christine: _finishes song and bows._

_Later, we see drunken people partying and Madame Giry Making her way threw the crowd. _

Chubs: I wanted to sing it...

Firmin: Shut up.

_Now Madame Giry is in Christine dressing room, and hands her a rose._

Madame Giry: he is very pleased with you. Though he is be Mr. Grumpy pants to me, since I stole his idea... I mean, my idea.

Christine: ...W-What?

Madame Giry: Err, nothing...?

Christine: right.

Madame Giry: _runs away_

Christine: _looks into mirror_

_Now Raoul barges in, holding his Ken doll and snuggling it._

Christine: _looks at Ken doll_ Hey, what's that?

Raoul: Err... nothing?

Christine: Why is everyone saying that?

Raoul: Dunno. Hey, want to go out?

Christine: No.

Raoul: YAY! I'll get my carriage.

Christine: No.

_Raoul is a bad listener and runs off, kissing his Ken doll as he gets his carriage... that should just be in the front anyway... So the light go off. And there's no sign of Raoul... where'd he go? He dressed up his Ken doll, is what he did! _

Opera Ghost/Phantom of the Opera: _sings _Stupid idiot, this ugly new suitor, basking in your glory.

_(The Phantom shall be hereby called by his first name, Erik)_

Christine: _sings _Angel I hear you, speak. I listen. Stay my my side, guide me. Angel my soul was weak, forgive me, Enter at last, master.

Erik: But you told him no... Ah well.. Come so I can finish my sock collection. I mean... err...

Christine: _blink_ alright!

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There, another chapter done. It's better then the last one, so I hope you'll review. I promise some more chapters. I hope. Sarah, you'll have to remind me... and you guys should too. Review lots. It makes me want to write more.


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